Because it’s been way too long since I last posted, here is a short update!
So far this semester I was tapped into DZT, applied for and got accepted as the chaplain for Life 423, and went to Ireland for my cross cultural trip. Needless to say, I’ve been busier that I have ever been in my life!
Unfortunately, I allowed the busyness of life to have an affect on my spiritual life and when my spiritual life is neglected, the other areas in my life are also affected. Areas like friendships, self worth, perspective, etc. This came to a head when I was standing in worship at the Gathering Conference back in February. I stood there in the midst of incredible worshipers and worship leaders and just felt numb. I knew, and loved, the songs that were being sung, but I stood there and didn’t feel a thing, and for those of you who know me, worship through music is my thing, that’s when I realized something was seriously off in my life.
The next night Noah said “Jonah took a failed step and still ended up in the place that God had called him to go, you know why? Because failure is not final in Jesus Christ. You can fail, you can mess up and God will look you straight in your eyes and say I still love you, I still have a plan for you, you are just as purposeful, my plan for you never changed, I wanna use you, take another step, here’s your chance.”
I have a very perfectionist personality and although I know I mess up all the time, I hate messing up when it comes to God because if there is anyone I want to be proud of me, it’s my King. Noah reminded me that God doesn’t require us to be perfect, he simply requires our hearts and our willingness. So, that night I made the decision that I wasn’t going to let busyness be the focus of my life any more.
Two weeks later, I was back in Cleveland after trying to leave for Ireland, twice, and weather continually pushing our plans further back. I was frustrated, tired, and just simply wanted someone to cuddle up with and go through this mess with. More than that I wanted someone to experience Ireland with. In that moment God kind of checked me and was like, do you remember what you said only two weeks ago? So right then and there I decided that God was going to be the someone I experienced this trip with and from that moment I was content.
Although experiencing Ireland with a significant other would have been amazing, I think I enjoyed it more because I got to experience it with the one who created the beauty I was seeing. During the trip God dropped something in my lap, that seemingly came out of no where. It’s something that is scary, exciting, and I have no clue where it will lead me, which of course causes me to wonder if it is something I am willing into existence and it’s not God’s idea at all. This past week God has taught me to trust in Him and to truly put my focus on Him, and if this is His idea, He will see it through to completion. If it’s not, He has something even better for me.
Wednesday night at the Gathering David lead Build My Life by Passion, the lyrics say:
“I will build my life upon your love, it is a firm foundation. I will put my trust in you alone and I will not be shaken. Holy, there is no one like you, there is none beside you, open up my eyes in wonder. Show me who you are and fill me with your heart and lead me in your love to those around me.”
This has become my anthem! Now all I can do is take one step at a time, while putting my full focus on God, and trust that no matter what step I take, He as a purpose in it all!
“People can plan what they want to do, but it is the Lord who guides their steps.” Proverbs 16:9
Just A Thought From The King’s Daughter